Friday, 30 December 2011

Food Surveillance in East Norfolk

Antiquarian Food Surveillance Institute's (AFSI) Unit 231 were active in the field yesterday, observing a gaggle of four Ragged Ramblers as they ate their way across East Norfolk. Due to the sophisticated surveillance techniques adopted by this award winning unit we were able to gather some quite remarkable data...








Subsequent analysis at our laboratory yielded the following fascinating data:
"A field unit were using directional microphones to monitor Antiquarian conversation - however the blustery wind interfered with the readings, and, as a result, we are only able to hear the occasional shout of 'Huzzah!' However, samples collected after the Antiquarians had moved on were very interesting indeed. 

The concealed camera had already got a close-up shot of a sweet mincemeat pastry. Analysis proves conclusively that this was made by hand in a domestic setting. Although we cannot, at this point, be sure which of the Antiquarians produced this, we do know that the person who made this was enjoying a small glass of single malt whiskey whilst they cooked. 

With regard to the fried food: it was their usual dry cured smoked back bacon, hand-cut in Granville C. Bond butchers in Aylsham. The baps were white, purchased in Acle Coop an hour of so prior to consumption. However, we did note that they were sliced with unusual precision. This is significant!"

Professor G.M. Food, Director of the AFSI said:
"Once again, due to the outstanding professionalism and resourcefulness of our field units, we have been able to gather more key information about Antiquarian eating behaviour. In particular, the revelation about the home-made sweet mincemeat pastry is a find of quite considerable importance, and raises a number of questions which we will be pursuing. Congratulations to Unit 231!"

4 comments:

  1. Dear Mr. Stephenson,

    According to our researchers this is known as a 'Judkins Cake'.

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  2. In these Western Parts, it will be henceforth be referred to (when looking east) as 'Inn-Bread'.

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  3. P.S. - We say 'be' a lot down here. It's to do with pirate ancestry, and as you knows, pirates always talks in the present tense. Arr.

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